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Practice Library

Choosing a First Step

A plan for trying one new activity, with a one-page print version. Built from research in other settings, not a tested method.

Prepared by The Editorial Team

Updated 4 October 2026

This page helps you choose one activity for your child to try, try it lightly, and decide afterwards. It is our own plan, built from research in other settings. It does not score your child or sort them into a type. There is nothing to fill in on screen. Print it if you want to write on it.

1. What you’ve noticed

Basis: our suggestion.

Start with what you have seen, not with questions for your child. Over a week or two, notice:

  • what they go back to when no one has asked them to;
  • what they talk about, or want to show you;
  • where they lose track of time;
  • what they have asked to try more than once.

Write down what happened, not what it means. For example, “built a ramp for toy cars, twice on Sunday” is more use than “likes engineering.” This is not a test, and there is no right answer. Leave out anything that compares your child with other children.

2. Choose one area

Basis: research on choosing between options; see the evidence below. The limit of three is our suggestion.

Look through the Activity Guides with your notes beside you. Write a short list of up to three areas that fit what you noticed. Then choose one to try first. The others wait; they are not ruled out. If your child wants to look too, Things You Can Try is written for them to read with you.

3. Choose a low-commitment trial

Basis: our suggestion. A music study is relevant; see the evidence below. The study did not test whether asking a child to commit changes anything. We treat a trial as a time to find out.

Look for a way to try the area before you commit to it. That could be a single session, a short block, or a free or low-cost public option. Before you agree to anything, check for a trial, a minimum commitment or a notice period. Our questions to ask about fees cover these. For public options, see what a child can try for free or cheaply.

Decide before you start how long the trial will be, in sessions or weeks. Give your child time to settle in. We found no research that sets a length.

4. Write an if-then plan

Basis: research on if-then plans, mostly with adults; see the evidence below.

An if-then plan names a moment and what you will do when it comes. It is a plan for you, not a rule for your child. Write one for getting started and one for the end of the trial:

If , then I will .

If , then I will .

For example: if it is Sunday evening, then I will look up the trial times. If the last trial session has ended, then I will read my notes before we decide anything.

5. What to notice, and how to decide afterwards

Basis: studies of why children stop sport and music; see the evidence below. The four outcomes are our suggestion.

During the trial, keep noticing, as in step 1. Things worth noticing:

  • whether your child seems to enjoy it, and brings it up on their own;
  • how they seem to feel about how they are doing;
  • who is there: friends, the coach or teacher, the group;
  • what it pushes out of the week, including rest;
  • tiredness, aches or injuries.

These are things to notice, not a checklist to score. When the trial ends, there are four reasonable outcomes. None is a failure.

  • Continue as it is.
  • Change the format or level: a different group, time, teacher or level in the same area.
  • Pause, and come back to it later.
  • Stop, and go back to your short list from step 2.

Decide with your child, using what you noticed and what they tell you. If your child wants to stop partway, see My Child Wants to Stop.

Why this structure

The overall shape follows decision aids, which help people make health choices. Step 2 draws on research on choice overload. Step 4 draws on research on if-then plans. Step 5 draws on studies of why children stop sport and music. Most of these studies were of adults, or of children and teenagers in sport and music. We have applied them to a new setting, and nothing was tested on this page.

The research behind each step, with its limits: blog.beaconly.sg/practice-library/choosing-a-first-step/

The evidence behind this

For readers who want to check our work. Each source below shows what it looked at, what it found, where it falls short and how we use it. The Sources list at the end links to the originals.

Choice overload: a 2015 review (Chernev, Böckenholt and Goodman)

  • Looked at: 99 results from 53 studies of consumer choice, with 7,202 participants.
  • Found: more options did not, on average, lead to choice overload. Without four conditions taken into account, “the mean effect of assortment size on choice overload is nonsignificant.” Overload was more likely when the options were complex, the decision was hard, people were unsure what they wanted, or they wanted to keep effort low.
  • Limits: these were consumer choices, not children’s activities. The review gives no best number of options. A correction to the paper was published; we could not open it.
  • How we use it: we think a first activity can be a choice like that, which is why step 2 suggests a short list. The limit of three is ours.

Two music studies (Evans and McPherson, 2015; Evans, McPherson and Davidson, 2013)

  • Looked at (2015): 157 children followed for ten years from before they began learning an instrument. Practice in the first three years was estimated by parents.
  • Found (2015): children with “a personal long-term view of playing an instrument before they began instruction,” who also practised a lot, achieved more and kept learning longer. They were compared with children who had a short-term view and practised little.
  • Limits (2015): these are links, not causes. The finding combines a long-term view with high practice; it does not show either one alone. The study did not test whether asking a child to commit changes anything. The authors conclude that learners with a long-term view of themselves as musicians are better placed to succeed and keep going. We read the abstract only.
  • Looked at (2013): a study that began in 1997 with 157 children aged 8 to 10, starting band at eight primary schools in Sydney. Ten years later, 104 answered a survey, about two in three.
  • Found (2013): people who had stopped playing compared how they felt when most engaged with how they felt before they stopped. Before stopping, they recalled feeling less connected to others, less capable and more pushed by others. The authors sum this up as “diminished feelings of competence, relatedness, and autonomy.” In their results, though, the autonomy measure was not significant, and competence only “approached significance.”
  • Limits (2013): people were recalling feelings from years before, and the authors note the effects of hindsight. All the children began in brass and woodwind school band programmes.
  • How we use it: as things to notice in step 5, and as a reason step 3 treats a trial as a time to find out, not a promise.

If-then plans: a 2006 review (Gollwitzer and Sheeran)

  • Looked at: 94 tests from 63 reports, with 8,461 participants. The authors searched databases from January 1990 to December 2003, and asked researchers for unpublished studies.
  • Found: if-then plans “had a positive effect of medium-to-large magnitude (d = .65) on goal attainment.” People who made them did better at reaching their goals than people who did not.
  • Limits: most tests (79) were with university students; “there were two tests of children/young people,” with 144 participants. Effects varied significantly between studies. In each test, people planned their own actions, not someone else’s.
  • How we use it: the plan in step 4 is yours, about what you will do.

Dropout from organised sport: a 2015 review (Crane and Temple)

  • Looked at: 43 studies of dropout from organised sport among children and young people, most often in soccer, swimming, gymnastics and basketball.
  • Found: five major areas linked to dropout: “lack of enjoyment, perceptions of competence, social pressures, competing priorities and physical factors (maturation and injuries).”
  • Limits: “Most studies focused solely on adolescents, and 89% of participants were male.” Most studies were cross-sectional (one point in time), so they show links, not causes. We read the review’s abstract only.
  • How we use it: as things to notice in step 5, not as causes and not as a score.

Decision aids: a Cochrane review (Stacey and colleagues, 2024)

  • Looked at: “209 studies involving 107,698 participants.” They were adults making real decisions about health screening or treatment “for themselves, a child, or as a proxy for a significant other.” Studies of hypothetical choices were left out.
  • Found: decision aids “led to large increases in knowledge.” The authors are confident that people “felt better informed and were more clear about what mattered most to them.” Decision aids “probably increase the congruence between informed values and care choices” (moderate-certainty evidence).
  • What a decision aid does: at a minimum, it makes “the decision explicit,” gives information on the options and outcomes, and helps people clarify what matters to them.
  • Earlier version: the 2017 review (105 studies, 31,043 participants) found that people “feel more knowledgeable, better informed, and clearer about their values.”
  • Limits: health decisions only, not activity choices.
  • How we use it: for the overall shape of the page: make the decision explicit, set out the options, and think about what matters.

Not covered here

This page does not cover choosing a provider, and does not recommend one. For costs, see questions to ask about fees and Help With Costs. For how much is too much, see Is My Child Doing Too Much?

Sources